


Love Ain't Enough

by FieryRie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 14:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19008061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FieryRie/pseuds/FieryRie
Summary: Johnny is all that Ten ever wanted. Ten is all that Johnny ever wanted. But sometimes love ain't just enough.





	Love Ain't Enough

His night was filled with jubilation, excitement rushing in his nerves as Ten tried to remain calm in his seat. Beside him were his loving parents who were there to watch a certain someone to perform for the concert.

 

A huge smile decorated his face when the stage's curtain opened up to show an elegant man, sitting on a sleek black seat as he faced a matching black grand piano. The amphitheater was filled with silence, everyone waiting for the pianist to play. The said silence ended as heavenly notes started to fill the audience's earsㅡ it was slow yet mesmerizing. Johnny played exquisitely as usual, his facial expressions matching the sadness of the song he was performing.

 

Ten found himself caged in a trance, it was like there's only him and Johnny in their own little bubble. No matter how countless times he witnessed his boyfriend play the piano, it still astounds him every time. He's beyond amazing, no wonder he was one of the best pianists in the world. It has been his dream since they were young and Ten was more than proud that he was beside Johnny as the latter strive to achieve his goals. The song ended and thunderous claps filled the dome. Ten even stood up, beaming with pride for his significant other.

 

"Congratulations for another successful concert, baby!," Ten greeted Johnny with a tight hug, wide grin plastered in his pale beautiful face.

 

They're now at the backstage and it's his time to have his boyfriend even for just a short while. Even if they want to at least stay with each other for the night, Johnny is scheduled to fly to another country in just hours. It saddens Ten alot at how they barely see each other but what can he do? He can't be a hindrance to Johnny's success.

 

Ten felt strong muscular arms wrap around his body and pull him in a rather gentle yet tight hug. "Ten! Thank you so much, baby. My heart was threatening to come out in nervous earlier though. What did your parents think of me? Did they like my performance?"

 

Ten could only laugh seeing his boyfriend's worried face. It was so unlike him, he's been confident when it comes to his talent yet now he's scared about his parents' comment. "Of course. You know how my father love you, and they were truly blown away with how great you are!"

 

A pair of soft slim fingers cupped his both cheeks that Ten had to meet Johnny's ebony eyes. He can see longing in them and the Thai wasn't able to stop himself from pulling the pianist closer to kiss him. He didn't care if there are people watching, Ten needed this. When they pulled away, the Thai quickly wrapped the taller man into a tight embrace. "I'll miss you."

 

"I want to spend the night with you," Johnny commented, sadness heard in his voice. It pained both the couple but they are aware how impossible that is. Johnny had to leave. And Ten will go back to their home alone. Again.

 

ㅡ

Ten was antsy. He kept on pacing back and forth in the airport, glancing at his wristwatch to check the time. Johnny is coming home, after a long long while,he's finally coming back to Ten. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he quickly fish it out. His heart raced upon seeing Johnny's name in his screen.

 

"I'm going down now. I can't see you," is what greeted Ten when he answered the call. His attention quickly switched at the escalator and Johnny's tall figure didn't escape his eyes.

 

He made his way towards the aisle with his phone still stuck on his ear. "I'm looking straight at you! Why can't you see me?" Ten acted cute and whiny, knowing how that amuse his boyfriend so much. He can almost hear Johnny grin through the phone.

 

The older guy even asked the Thai to raise his hands to make it easier to spot him but Ten, being the stubborn kiddo he is, refused to do so. Instead, he silently hid behind the escalator and waited for Johnny to come down to finally pull him into a bone-crushing back hug.

 

"I missed you so much," Ten heard his boyfriend whisper while they were still in each other's arms.

 

He can feel the eyes drilling on them but the Thai couldn't care less. "I missed you too," he blurted out, hot tears threatening to fall from his caramel eyes. Just how long has it been since he saw the love of his life?

 

Before they can say anything more, their circle of friends suddenly appeared from nowhere. Ten was surprised because Mark didn't even mentioned they'll be fetching Johnny in the airport as well. He watched as the group embraced each other, shortly catching up for the long while they've been away from another. The bright smile on his boyfriend's face melted Ten's heart, just watching Johnny be joyful is enough for the smaller man to be happy too.

 

They soon left the place as his rich boyfriend promised the squad for a treat. How he wanted to have Johnny all to himself but that can't be the case, Johnny's world doesn't revolve only around him afterall.

 

The night went on smoothly, the food was amazing and the group was all smiles and laughters. But not until Doyoung brought up the topic about the magazine where the pianist was featured in. The first time Ten saw Johnny's photos in the said material, it's like he fell in love deeper to the latter. He was beyond gorgeous, rivaling the gods in Mount Olympus.

 

What he can't take is the woman who was in the same photoshoot with Johnny. He can hear how the boys were praising how beautiful and sexy she is, and nothing disappointed him more than that.

 

Especially when the praises came from his boyfriend's mouth. "Well, yeah, she is. Her smile is so pretty and she's so friendly. She's beautiful and I won't deny it." Ten's face fell in too much dismay, heart constricting on his chest. And when their friends started to tease Johnny to the woman named, Tiffany, he lost it. Really? Right in front of him? Right in front of the person who owns Johnny.

 

He couldn't hide the dismay and he only cleared his throat to distract the men from their conversation. He looked at them in utter disbelief and the men seemed embarrassed for what they did.

 

"I'm sorry about that, Ten," Johnny softly muttered soon as they reached their home. "The boys were probably just thrilled and excited that theyㅡ"

 

Ten quickly cut him off, voice cold and tone deadly. "That they had to ship you with another girl in front of me? To a woman who got those head-turning looks? To a woman who got that hot body any man could die for? To that womㅡ"

 

"To that woman who can't be compared to my Ten because you are the best and you're the only one I love," Johnny finished his fuming boyfriend's sentence as he cupped both Ten's cheeks with his palms. "C'mon, you don't have to be jealous."

 

"AND WHO SAYS I'M JEALOUS!," the Thai exclaimed, shooting his pianist lover with his infamous death glares. He undeniably is jealous, of course. Who wouldn't be? He's short, he's average-looking, he's not as talented as Johnny is. Unlike the other women who surrounds the latter, known in the world and had proven themselves to the people.

 

Johnny wrapped his small lover in his arms and pulled him into the couch. He sat there with Ten positioned on his lap, straddling his legs while facing him. "I love you. Keep that in mind."

 

And without any more words said, they kissed. It was a soft and gentle one at first, like Johnny was scared to break Ten. But the loneliness, desire, and love both took them overㅡ the kiss became passionate and heated. One trying to dominate the other 'til Ten gave up and fully submitted himself to Johnny. How he longed to have his lover close to him like this, to be able to touch him, kiss him, and have him by his side. It's been so long and the way Johnny' s warmth embrace him was bliss.

 

"I love you too, Johnny."

 

ㅡ

 

The next three days were ecstasy as the couple were able to spend them together. They travelled in different places, bringing their cameras as usual to capture every moment. Each second was gold as they both know it'll end in no time so they have to treasure everything.

 

It's all Ten could wish for, be with Johnny most of the time. All his insecurities and doubts seem to be washed away, it's like his world is perfectㅡ there's nothing for him to be scared of. Because when Johnny is away, Ten can't help it but to feel distraught. His mind keeps on drifting away, filled with things he's frightened of.

 

It's their last night and Ten was alone in the balcony, watching the twinkling stars above as he finds himself overthinking again. Johnny was in their bedroom, already sound asleep, he needs rest because of his early flight tomorrow.

 

Ten is happy with Johnny, there's no doubt about that. He's nothing but ecstatic witnessing how his lover is quickly rising to the top, seeing how the world is adoring him so much. But there was a price to that. They had to sacrifice time and distance as Ten can't go with him every time. Johnny visits different countries each year while the Thai is left alone at their empty home, waiting for him to come back.

 

What's worse is how Johnny is sort of a celebrity and is paired up with different women he work with in the music industry. It hurts Ten so much as he can't avoid to compare himself even at how his boyfriend always assure him it's Ten who owns his heart. Given their complicated setup, it's not impossible if Johnny would find someone who can fulfill his needs, one who can stay with him.

 

Afterall, absence doesn't always make the heart go fonder. Sometimes, it makes the heart wander and find another.

 

Ten always told himself that he didn't want to get on Johnny's way that's why he never demanded anything from him. But the truth is he wants everything of him. And his heart shatters each time Johnny has to leave, each time that Johnny ain't able to pick up his call, each time Johnny isn't there to calm Ten when his anxiety attacks him. It hurts him so much.

 

The Thai shot the sleeping man a disheartened look and heaved a deep sigh. Tomorrow will be cruel for both of them, and how he wish it doesn't have to come.

 

ㅡ

"I really enjoyed those three days that we were able to spend time with each other. If I can extend my vacation, I would. I'd like to be with you more," Johnny let out a sigh, sadness glinting in his jet black orbs. He reached to hold both Ten's hands and intertwined their fingers, spaces filling each other perfectly.

 

But Ten didn't respond, he only stayed silent and that weirded out his boyfriend. It was so unlike Ten, and he noticed how the latter was acting unusual since this early morning. The pianist tried to catch Ten's gaze but the Thai kept on avoided his stare. 'Til the smaller suddenly pulled his hand off Johnny's grip and sat straight in his seat.

 

That caught the older off guard. He quickly sat beside his boyfriend, worried about his actions. "Is there something bothering you? What's the matter?"

 

Ten dreaded this day and he can feel himself shaking in nervousness. It's like something is clawing his chest, his heart wanting to jump out. He couldn't even find his voice that he had to clear his drying throat before speaking." Y-you're leaving again," he muttered in a low voice, almost a whisper.

 

Johnny blinked momentarily, hearing the obvious sadness and pain in his boyfriend's voice. He hates to leave like this, not when Ten is clearly perturbed. "You don't want me to leave? Just tell me, I'm ready to cancel all my concert days for you. I mean it."

 

The pianist's words were heaven to his ears, that's exactly what he wantedㅡ no concert days, no overseas appointments with his lover, both of them just having the time of their lives together 'til they get old. But no. He can't afford to be the reason for Johnny to lose his booming career. No, he doesn't want to stop him from reaching his dreams. Ten never dreamed of watching Johnny be miserable, regretting how he chose someone like Tenㅡ someone like him who couldn't understand, someone who couldn't even wait for him to get home, someone who's too naggy, demanding, impatient, and a childish brat. He's not what Johnny needed. It's agonizing, but then again, truth hurts.

 

The Thai turned to face the pianist, yet not looking meeting his gaze. Johnny's eyes are just too deep, simply taking a glance at them makes Ten drown. "No. You don't have to do that, Johnny," he let out a deep sigh, tears welling on his eyes. "I need something and I want you to give it to me."

 

"What is it? Tell me," there's some kind of rush in his voice. The older got so antsy, mind in a puzzle as he can't decipher what Ten is thinking. His boyfriend had always been unpredictable, and Ten's train of thoughts scares himㅡ he knows well how pessimistic his lover can get. He encountered Ten's panic attacks, he heard all of Ten's negative thoughts, and it hurts him alot.

 

"Let's break up."

 

Three words. Just three words and it crushed both their worlds. There was a bitter taste on Ten's mouth as he fell silent for a moment. He felt Johnny froze on his seat, but he didn't say a thing so the Thai decided to continue.

 

"This is not good. For you, for me.. for the both of us," this time, Ten looked directly at those ebony eyes, letting himself to get lost for the last time. "Johnny, it pains me so much each time you have to go away, each time you have to leave me alone at our home. It doesn't even feel like a home because it's so cold and empty without you.

 

Various thoughts always swarm in my mind, alarming me of things I'm scared of. I find myself crying on one corner, doubting myself if I'm really the right one for you. And even if I call to at least calm myself and prove to my demon within that I'm loved and worth it, it'll only go to voice mail because it's either you're busy or asleep. Of course, I had to understand. You're Johnny Seo afterall, one of the world's best performer at the time. And who am I again? A simple barista in a local coffee shop? A dance instructor at weekends? I'm nobody. I'm no one.

 

We've been together for years, we've known each other since we were young, I trust you. I've fully grown to trust you. But there are times when I see you on national television, famous and beautiful stars surrounding you.. I can't help but compare. I keep on doubting myself, and sometimes.. I doubt you. You're a man, you have needs. And I ain't there to give you everything.

 

Ten held the pianist hands, lacing their fingers tightly as his vision became blurry. Hot tears started to fall down his cheeks. "This relationship is not healthy for me, for us. I'd love to fight for it but it's hard. I can't do it anymore. I'm giving up."

 

Johnny was stunned in his seat. Every word that Ten spat out pierced his heart directly. It's not something he expected from his boyfriend for Ten had always been fine. Or so he thought. What kind of lover is he if he couldn't even notice that Ten was hurting? But how could he? As what the Thai said, he's always away.

 

The pianist felt as if an arrow just struck his chest, it was painful and heavy. He couldn't even think properly of what he should tell Ten. His eyes felt hot, tears threatening to fall but he did his best not to cryㅡ acting like he can be the stronger one even though inside, he's crumbling down.

 

He doesn't want to let go. No, Ten is basically his life. He can give up anything and everything if that's what it costs to have him. What would he do with the fame and money the world has to offer if he loses his inspiration for why he play the piano?

 

But watching Ten drown in his own tears like this, imagining how his boyfriend had suffer for the past years and him being obnoxious about it, he felt bad. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. If you want, I can call you all the time. I can update you with whatever I'm doing. Just.. just don't leave me. I can't.. I love you so much." He pulled Ten towards him for an embrace, wishing it wouldn't be their last.

 

Ten cried on his shoulders, body shaking as he sobbed loudly. All the pain he was hiding, all the frustrations he kept in his heart for a long while, now bursting into tears. And Johnny hated it. Hurting Ten is the last thing he would do yet here they are, he already destroyed the love of his life without him knowing. He's useless. And he hated himself for that.

 

"I'm sorry Johnny. Please let me go."

 

Then Ten ran away, leaving Johnny and all that they have. He ran away and threw everything he fought for years. He ran away even though he knows for sure it's something he'll regret in the future. He ran away without looking back. Because just one last glance at Johnny, he'll be running back to his arms. He can't. It's over. Him and Johnny are over.

 

Ten decided to stay at Kun's place and cry his heart out there. This was alot more tormenting than he imagined it to be. Flashbacks of their memories keep on rewinding on his mind, reminding Ten of how it was euphoric being with Johnny. The laughters, the smiles, his warmth.. He lost him. He lost Johnny. He lost his happiness, his everything.

 

"I love you too, Johnny. More than you could ever imagine." 


End file.
